Aaj ka manzar......

कतरा-कतरा ज़िंदगी टूट रही है
लम्हा-लम्हा मौत की चादर बिच्छ रही है|

खुदगर्ज़ हर इंसान हो रहा है
बेजान हर जवान हो रहा है|

हैवानियत का हर तरफ़ एक खूनी मंज़र है
ज़र्रे-ज़र्रे में लालच का ज़ेहर है|

जहाँ तक जाती है नजर
हर तरफ़ है फक़त इक कहर|

लालच इंसानियत का गरेबान नोच रहा है
सत्ता का अहंकार खुदा को बेच रहा है|

लगता है अब तो उस खुदा की
बर्दाश्त का भी अंत हो रहा है|

अब वो लम्हा दूर नही यकीनन
जब आएगी लहर इक यकीन की
और........
ले जाएगी बहुत दूर बहाकर कहीं
लालच, हैवानियत और अहंकार की
यह दीवार कहीं............

Thoughts.....

Pivot of my life has wavered, it seems
I am getting imbalanced in my heart and mind
Something is troubling me, deep within
But, I can not figure out...what!!

It seems that my belief has weakened..
in my convictions, in my very self, it seems
A continuous tussle has been going on
between my logic and emotion
Tearing my existence apart.

My whole self has got badly entangled
trying to get away to find a middle path
between my materialistic ambitions and
spirituality in emotions....
making my soul restless and mere a weakling...my heart.

Why do I feel so forlorn?
What does my soul await .....
to feel happy and light?

I wish, I knew ...
what is my heart's innermost desire?
What my soul thirsts for???
For want of what, it is so listless??

I thought I was pretty strong
in my heart and mind
And, had a notion...
I knew my heart...

But, disposition of my innerself
made me aware...
It was merely an illusion...
from the hard reality...far apart......

 




हो जाए जब तू ऐ दिल, कुछ नासाज़-सा
 ख़ुद से और  जहाँ से भी कुछ नाराज-सा
लगे जैसे कि ज़िंदगी के गुलशन को
हर तरफ़ से घेरे म ले लिया है खिज़ा ने|
बेज़ार-सा हो जाए जब तू
ख़ुद अपने आप ही आप-से|

लगे जब के किश्ती है घिर गयी ज़िंदगी की
नाउम्मीदियो और बद्नसीबियो की मौजों में
और....ख़ुद पे आन ए लगे इक रहम-सा|

तब.....
तू ऐ मेरे दिल
देखना उन मस्ती में झूमते पेड़ों को
सहते हैं जो हर मौसम के थपेडों को
इंतज़ार रहता है, फिर भी, उन्हे बहार की सुबह का

सुनना उन चिड़ियों की चहक को
जो घोंसला बनाती है अपना चुनकर तिनका-तिनका
तोड़ जाए जब-जब, इक तेज़ हवा का झौंका ठिकाना उनका|

बस....
तू ऐ मेरे दिल
इतना अगर एहसास कर लेगा
कभी फिर, हँसते-हँसते यूँ उदास ना होगा|
    

Decorate your own soul

The world is like a mirror and one sees one’s own reflection on it. Everyone experiences it. When we are happy in our heart and our mind free from any stress and burden, everything around seems good. At this time we are in a positive frame of mind. Our heart feels fresh and wants to embrace the whole world into its chambers. Our soul smiles and floats in clouds. Our heart, mind, soul and body are in synchronization. Just pause and think here…….I am sure that you will find many instances in your life when you experienced it personally. We feel highly enthusiastic at these times and confident enough to win the whole world. We get a rainbow vision at such times. We feel that nothing can deter us from achieving whatever we want to. Our soul feels empowered.

Now, witness the other scenario when we are with dampened spirits and feeling very low deep down. What happens then?? Everything around seems to be so totally bleak and life seems to be listless. Nothing feels right and we get enveloped into self-pity. The whole world around us seems to conspire against the very existence of us…….Have you ever tried to go into the depth of the disposition of your mind and heart? Have you ever tried to fathom the depth to which your disposition has seeped into your soul? If you sketch a portrait of your soul at that time, it would be in a very bad shape….fragmented, shattered and disfigured. It feels enchained and desperate to break away from this claustrophobic cell. You know it, you feel it , you want to set it free……..you do want to feel happy but then what happens which stops you from doing all this……..Have you ever tried to find the root cause of feeling thus?

Most of the times, we, ourselves are the culprits of our depression, despondence and of our desolate self. Are you surprised by this revelation of mine???? I know that you are not. Deep down in our hearts we know that we can make our soul smile. How?? In spite of knowing the answer, it’s human nature to show ignorance. In our scriptures, it is written, “You are your own best friend and you are your own worst enemy.” When I read it many years back, as a youngster, I could not understand its relevance. As I advanced in years and maturity, I understood its significance. We cannot hold anyone else responsible for our own disposition and doings. Earlier we understand it better it is for us and our surroundings. Human mind is very powerful and the thought within are the oars to run the boat of life. To keep the boat in motion and also row smoothly, we have to keep a check on oars. Whether the thoughts we think are positive or negative, decide the disposition of our soul. It is a vicious circle. We cannot keep our thoughts and soul as separate identities. Our thoughts are our strength and weakness. It depends upon us now how do we want to live our lives------Do we want to roam in a barren land or we want to take a walk in a garden with beautiful flowers in it. What are we waiting for then???? Lets get up and take the world into our embrace. Let us decorate our own soul to spread the fragrance around. 

It was a chilly morning. The Sun looked depressed as it was desperate to come out in the open and shine but the stubbornness of the thick smog just won’t let it exert itself. After a long wait, it came out smiling at last. The moment the rays peeped inside my bedroom, I too left the cozy bed and stepped out into my balcony to greet the smiling Sun. I was enjoying the warmth of the sun and was conversing with the plants in the little corner of nature in my balcony. It was a beautiful feeling to sit amidst the gifts of the Almighty. I, indeed, felt mighty blessed for a beautiful morning.

I was just looking out at the far stretched empty space and trying to look afar when my glance fell on some children in the slip road right in front of my apartment. The older one was making bundles of twigs that the younger ones were collecting. The hedge was trimmed and the twigs were scattered on the slip road. This sight suddenly reminded of a sight from my own past. I was transported back to a life which I had experienced many years back. The memories of those few years started flashing in my mind. They were impressionable years and I understood their great significance today, it seemed. It was only an enjoyable activity back then as my brother and I roamed in the forest collecting dry wood to use as fuel.

Over the years, I had kind of forgotten those days but my memory was vivid today fueled by the scene I witnessed. I realized that we were never made to feel that we were going through any kind of hardship back then. But, now, as the layers of those days started peeling off one-by-one, I realized that our mother and my older siblings were going through a very tough phase with a smile on their lips and a hope in their heart.

I have always been a great admirer of people with a hope in their heart and strength in their minds with a confidence attitude. I owe it to my upbringing by my parents who instilled such values and attitude in
my siblings and me.